Obama Central - Barack Rules - Hillary is Roadkill

"Chelsea Clinton tried to help her mother attract the gay vote in Pennsylvania by visiting several lesbian bars. That's true, yeah. Yeah, when asked to comment afterwards, Chelsea said, 'I've never seen so many women with my mom's haircut.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Hillary Clinton was shown at a bar in Indiana drinking a beer, and doing a shot of whiskey. Hey, and it worked. Today, Ted Kennedy switched back. 'I'm for Hillary now!'" --Jay Leno

"Did you all see that? She took the shot with the beer chaser. Did it like an old pro. To give you an idea how much she drank, when the phone rang at 3 am, slept right through it." --Jay Leno

"Big shake-up in the Hillary Clinton campaign. This is huge. Yesterday -- true story -- Hillary Clinton's top adviser abruptly left her campaign. When he heard about it, Bill Clinton said, 'Wait, we can leave?'" --Conan O'Brien

"Poor Hillary. She went on my friend Jay Leno's show last night. She's still trying to put that whole Bosnia sniper fire thing behind her. She said, 'It's been so long since I've been pinned down by anyone.'" --Bill Maher

"Hillary Clinton was in Philadelphia, where she told the crowd she is like the movie character Rocky. Now, if I remember the movie correctly, doesn't Rocky get the crap beat out of him and then he loses to the black guy?" --Jay Leno