The Ed Blog

Note: All of the late-night shows are in reruns while the joke writers are on strike. In the meantime, you can browse the late-night joke archive.

Nov. 2-3, 2007

"The writers are going on strike on Monday. ... They are calling this the toughest time for comedy writing since those three weeks back in the '90s when Bill Clinton stopped dating." --Jay Leno

"Hey, don't forget to turn your clocks back an hour this weekend. You get an extra hour of sleep. It's kind of like watching a Fred Thompson speech." --Jay Leno

"Anybody notice that for daylight saving, the change is later this year? It was supposed to be last week. According to the New York Times, Congress made this decision in part from pressure from the candy lobby, who wanted an extra hour for trick or treating. Isn't that unbelievable? I mean, the research lobby can't get stem cell research through. The consumer lobby, we can't get lead out of toys. But by God, when it comes to an extra hour of eating sugar, the candy lobby has the power." --Jay Leno

"Another prominent Republican has been caught in a gay sex scandal. This time it's a state representative from the state of Washington, a man named Richard Curtis. He admitted to dressing up in women's clothing, having sex with a guy twice in one night, but he says he's not gay. ... Fortunately, the other guy was. ... Anyway, Representative Curtis resigned from office yesterday. Out of force of habit, Larry Craig's wife is standing by him." --Jay Leno

"All the other Democratic candidates are continuing to attack Hillary Clinton. In fact, in the debate the other night, they accused Hillary Clinton of having things both ways. Which is ironic, 'cause Bill's been trying to talk her into that for years." --Jay Leno

"Karen Hughes, a former adviser to President Bush, is leaving the State Department after working the last two years trying to improve the rest of the world's opinion of America. Congratulations on a job well done. Time to bring out that 'Mission Accomplished' sign again." --Jay Leno

"Today, President Bush said, 'The Iraqis are taking back Iraq.' Then Dick Cheney said, 'But not the oil, right?'" --Jay Leno

"People who are absolutely upset are the folks in the State Department. They want to send them to Iraq. There's a lot of empty positions that need to be filled over there. But the people at the State Department are revolting about this because they say it's dangerous over there. I haven't heard that. ... President Bush is furious. He said, 'If you didn't want to go to a war zone, you shouldn't have joined the State Department. You should have joined the Texas Air National Guard.'" --Bill Maher

"Did you see this Democratic debate this week? Wow! The six men all piled onto Hillary Clinton. It was like a porn movie. They were claiming she's not a real Democrat because she might actually win something." --Bill Maher

"There was yet another closeted gay Republican in the news. A state representative from the state of Washington got caught paying for sex at an adult book store while he was on a legislative retreat. Is that what they're calling it now? ... He was dressed as a woman in red stockings and a black sequin lingerie top. Or, as Rudy Giuliani calls it, Casual Friday." --Bill Maher

"A sixth grade woman teacher from Nebraska ... is on the run with her 13-year-old boyfriend. I know that sounds bad, but consider this, he is a child and she didn't leave him behind." --Bill Maher

"Here's the kind of thing that makes this country great. A guy in Tennessee was in a food eating competition. ... He wins the competition. He ate 103 hamburgers in eight minutes. ... But you think about it, this has been a hell of a year for Al Gore. One thing after another." --David Letterman

"Did you hear about this? There was a guy arrested in a hotel. ... He's in a hotel and he's trying to have sex with a ... bicycle. Please get some help, Senator Craig. I am begging you!" --David Letterman

"During the Democratic debate Tuesday night, Senator Joe Biden criticized Republican candidate Rudy Giuliani, saying, 'There's only three things he mentions in a sentence -- a noun, a verb, and 9/11.' Giuliani later responded, saying, 'Joe Biden sucks 9/11.'" --Seth Meyers

"Hillary Clinton on Thursday visited Wellesley College and told students, 'This all-women's college prepared me to compete in the all-boys club of presidential politics.' Although she said afterwards, it was hard to speak at a school that was so pro-Bush." --Seth Meyers

"Pat Philbin, the man who staged a fake FEMA news conference on the California wildfires last week, has lost his promotion because of the event. Which begs the question, 'What does it take to actually get fired from FEMA?'" --Amy Poehler

YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

LOSERS !!

Hillary had the audacity to give her acceptance speeches both for winning the democrat nomination and the Presidential nomination.  During the course of the speech, she trashed all of her democrat competitors. 

Don't count your chickshit until you get it off your shoes Hillary.  You're a skank and every day more people know it.

THIS ONE IS A STUNNER:  IT CAN'T BE HILLARY OR PELOSI (PROBABLY NOT)

I WOULD NOT WANT TO BE THE ONE MAKING THE SNIFF TEST

SKANK = HERMAPHRODITE = JACKASS = JALONE = HILLARY = SOONER = DAMNJAN

What a farce.  The skank is delusional.

YOU ARE EATING WAY TOO MUCH OF THIS SKANK

SAVE SOME FOR THE CHILDREN PLEASE

On their knees where the skanks belong.  But they aren't getting any of this.  No skanks, begging with NOT help.

When I refer to skanks, it is in reference to the skanks mentioned in this blog's title. Both "write" here on bloghi.com. Two in particular are the first skanks listed in the sidebar of this blog.

One is a sleazy realtor who writes about the dying housing market, that sellers have to take a bath, not mentioning that the skank is siphoning off huge commissions on the rare occasion the skank actually sells a house. That skank is simply trying to advertise for free hoping to lure some poor unsuspecting sucker into being ripped off.

The other is a snotty stick up her butt know it all bitch.

Both are sad lonely people hoping that at least once a week probably by accident their blog gets a hit, meanwhile pecking away into space on a daily basis. Interestingly, both have their blogs set up so that there is no ability to comment in a demented power trip to get in the last word.

I love women in general. These two skanks, Hillary, Pelosi and their ilk are slime.

You are full of shit and one sarcastic obnoxious stupid bitch.  Even Michael Moore refuses to do you.  Crawl back into your rathole or better yet move in with Keith Olbermann.  Perhaps you will poison each other.